It’s always interesting when I tell people what my main job is. The usual response is something along the lines of, “Oh, that must be so much fun!” and then I respond with, “For the most part, yes.” And then they cock their eyebrows at me like I’m crazy. I know what they’re thinking; you play games all day (which isn’t true), how can that not be fun?
Well, when you have to review games like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutants in Manhattan, the job isn’t that fun.
I know this is very much a #firstworldproblem surrounding a job that many people would like to have. Oh boofuckinghoo, you have to play a game you don’t like and get paid for it. And you got that game a free review copy, so why should I feel sorry for you?
I’m not asking for pity, believe me, not even when it comes to my sad paycheck, because this is my choice. With that said, though, I still want to proclaim how this TMNT game is probably one of the worst games I have ever played.
I was a bit cautious after Transformers: Devastation killed me inside, but I wasn’t prepared for how bad this game was. I even stated in my review that the Transformers game was a game of the year contender next to TMNT. That’s just how bad the game is.
@notaxation No ninja no ninja NO.
— Keri Pwny Honea (@crunchychocobo) May 27, 2016
Here’s a small sample of what I bemoaned in my full review on ActionTrip.com:
Unfortunately, none of these missions are fun. They boil down to the same five or six mission types: roll a gigantic weapon ball to a warp point (I’m not joking), take down all the enemies, survive the ambush for a set amount of time, take out a scout before it alerts others, defusing bombs, and destroy a rampaging truck/helicopter/tank within a time limit. If you fail a mission, the only penalty is that you have to find another mission to complete and fill that boss meter bar. The only real motivation to complete a mission is to not find more boring things to do.
I pretty finished the game just to say I finished it, and ugh, I want those 4-5 hours of my life back. At one point, the husband watched me play and he asked me what was fun about it. I said, “Nothing.” I should never say that about an action game, much less one created by Platinum Games, whom I love and adore.
Apparently, Platinum needs to just focus on their original IPs with their own content, because this licensed path they’ve recently gone down with Activision is awful at best.
I can’t wait to get back into DOOM and actually play Uncharted 4 so I can, I don’t know, actually review some strategy guides.