The Corner of Randomness: I’m Out of Here

Well, the time has come. This is my last Corner of Randomness post. If things continue as they are, I’ll probably have to completely leave Strategy Guide Reviews. After five lovely years, I have to throw in the towel.

Let me explain. First, this has nothing to do with Keri or her treatment of me. She feeds me once a week and will sometimes let me out of my cell to see the sun. She even brings me a bowl of fresh water every morning. No, I have to leave due to a new career choice. I am going to focus on my hooker life.

You see, I need money. I mean I need a lot of money. Why do I need tons of cash? That is simple. I need pimp myself out so I can afford ALL THE DAMNED COLLECTOR’S EDITIONS of the games I want! Seriously!

If you happened to miss the news this week, Bethesda finally announced the release date for Doom. They also announced that there is a collector’s edition available at a meager $120. It comes with a metal case for the game and a 12” LED-lit statue. AN LED-LIT STATUE! How can I not want that?

Then you have Street Fighter V and its collector’s edition. While that is slightly cheaper at $99, it’s still packed with goodies. This comes with an art book, DLC, digital comics, a 10” Ryu statue, and more. Now c’mon. How badass will my Scorpion statue look with Ryu standing next to him? I just can’t resist!

Don’t even get me started on the various LEGO Dimensions things I will inevitably buy. I’m looking at you, Slimer Fun Pack! Add in the random Amiibo figure that I will also add to my collection. Add in a dash of wanting to snag the New 3DS so I can play some of the new games coming out this year on that system. Sprinkle in a desire to snag a GAEMS case so I can haul my PS4 with me on my many travels this year. Mix it all together, and I suddenly have a major need for more money. The struggle is real!

With that, I need to go grab my sexiest pair of jeans and go find a nice street corner to hustle. It’s been fun working here, but I have gaming addiction issues. Hey, if you need a snuggle buddy, you can hire me for about $25 per hour. I’ll even caress your hair.

 

 

 

 

 

 

PS – This is totally a joke. I’m not really leaving. YOU’RE STUCK WITH ME!