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Gaming Diary: Now I Get the Softcore Porn Comment

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Back in February, BioWare GM Aaryn Flynn made a flippant comment about Mass Effect Andromeda being “softcore space porn.” It was in response to people questioning the ESRB rating, which included nudity. It’s not partial nudity, as it has been in the past. Some people took Flynn’s comment as a joke and others quite seriously. Flynn had to backpedal a little bit as a result.

Considering Mass Effect and Dragon Age have always had mature themes, especially when it comes to romances, I expected that perhaps they were pushing the envelope a little further. Instead of silhouettes and assumptions, perhaps see a bit more of the scene unfold. I wish they had pushed that envelope with Garrus, but what’s done is done.

When I reviewed the game, I did not have time to pursue any relationships. My character flirted with everyone possible, just to see how far it could do with casual conversations, but she didn’t complete a single allies/relationships quest. There simply was no time in the window I had. Last night, I completed a romance, and I get the softcore porn comment now. Boy, do I ever.

Jaal Romance

Actually not the romance scene.

It’s not porn, really, but it’s definitely stuff you would see late at night on HBO or Cinemax. I was not expecting that at all. You have no idea how glad I was to be playing alone in my office, with no one watching. My romance was with Jaal, and it did not include seeing his full frontal. You don’t even see Ryder’s full frontal, just lots of boob. But as it continued for far longer than any other BioWare romance scene, my eyes widened with how far it went. I ended up texting a friend about it, and we compared romance stories. He romanced Cora, and he said it was more intense than he expected. I shared about Jaal, we snickered, told obscene jokes, and went on our merry way.

I’m not saying this is bad at all, so put down your torches and pitchforks. I’m mostly saying this as a warning, that maybe don’t play the romance parts with kids in the room. If you have a non-gamer spouse or roommate, you might want to warn them.

I am so unbelievably happy I did not play this scene during Extra Life with Chris and Blake. Chris didn’t even watch me play any part of Dragon Age: Origins until we happened to have a naked scene. Immediately he pounced on it like an older brother, yelling what I was watching, and teasing me to the point I know my whole face turned red. I can’t imagine how he would have reacted watching this Jaal romance.

Gaming Diary: Playing Mass Effect Andromeda My Way

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Mass Effect Andromeda

It’s flooring me how much of a different experience I’m having with Mass Effect Andromeda this time around, playing for myself and not on a deadline. For starters, I can REALLY avoid the story as much as possible. When you just focus on roaming all over the new worlds and making them better for all living there, it’s rather enjoyable. Well, it is until you reach a game-breaking bug (happened twice over the weekend) or you see a really awful character animation, but you know that’s a risk as you go in. As you bond with the characters (that’s still 20 hours in, take note) and learn more about the galaxy from side quests, it becomes the open world Mass Effect game you’ve always wanted.

All you have to do is procrastinate on the story missions as much as possible.

In addition, I’m not nearly as frustrated with playing because taking my time to do literally all of the side quests has leveled me up considerably. At 40 hours in, I’m nearly level 50. When I played the game for review, at 40 hours in I just turned 30. It’s amazing (not amazing) how much easier grinding through the story missions, or even any mission, is when you are properly leveled. Since you can’t save your game mid-mission, and the checkpoints are far and few between, I spent most of my review overly frustrated. Like any RPG, if you take the time grind, most of the game will be a cake-walk except on the hardest difficulties. This time around, I’m having far more fun completing the main missions because I’m not dying every three steps.

It’s also nice to be able to take the time to make the planets habitable and create outposts. No time to do that before. For the first time, I really feel like I’m settling the Heleus Cluster and making a real difference for the Nexus and the galaxy.

This makes me even happier to have walked away from games writing. Who knows what other games I might have enjoyed significantly more if I wasn’t pressed to complete them in a matter of days?

Gaming Diary: Mass Effect Andromeda is More Fun When You’re Not Under a Deadline

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Mass Effect Andromeda

After shunting Ys: Oath in Felghana roughly to the side, I moved on to Mass Effect: Andromeda for strategy guide reviewing purposes. I started over completely, including working with the character creator. The facial animations still make her look weird, but at least it’s with a character I designed and not the base model who looked weird in the first place. Best part though? I’m playing this game how I want to play it.

There’s no burning through the story as fast as possible. No more skipping scanning systems to save time. No more ignoring the insane list of tasks. No more picking just ONE loyalty quest to follow. No more ignoring all of the sidequests after Eos. Finally, I can do whatever I want, and dammit, I want to do it all. Maybe then if I separate the main storyline pieces by several hours or days, I won’t loathe it as much. The main story is kind of like extended family—you can only take it in small doses. In between those doses, you enjoy running around and living your life.

It’s definitely made a far more enjoyable experience, as really any game is when you’re not under pressure to finish it in a matter of days. I’m still under a bit of pressure with the strategy guide review, but not like how it was. It’s a different kind of pressure, but one I will wholeheartedly take over the stresses of game reviewing.

So yes, you can see how I don’t miss it. At. All. I can’t wait to give Horizon: Zero Dawn the same treatment with that strategy guide.

Gaming Diary: Good-bye, Ys: Oath in Felghana

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Rage QuitKnow what’s best about no longer reviewing games other than the fact I can play whatever I want? I can quit playing whatever I want too! I exercised both of these privileges over the weekend, when I decided that I had enough of the crazy platforming in Ys: Oath in Felghana.

The platforming in this Ys title always pushed me on edge to begin with, but the Clock Tower dungeon was the last straw. When I realized I was trying the same jump sequence for the last 30 minutes with no progress or ideas to how to even get across, to the point my thumbs were hurting, I knew I was done. I’m not under a deadline. I’m not having any fun. As my lovely friend Blake says, sometimes you have to say “Fuck this game!” and walk away.

I didn’t even try to save my progress. I knew I didn’t want to even attempt the platforming on the lower levels again to get to where I quit. While I’ve gotten far better at platforming, it’s still not my forte. I don’t enjoy it. It stresses me out. I get frustrated way too easily. I know I don’t have the skills to do this. And you know what? I’m fine with that.

I used to hate quitting games. I always felt so guilty about it or that I was a failure. I can’t do this part, which confirms how terrible I am at gaming. I shouldn’t quit because I’ll never learn if I quit. I’m almost at the end; how can I quit now? Sometimes you have to embrace the fact that this one thing just isn’t your thing, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Life is too short to force yourself to play something making you miserable that is supposed to be entertaining. I love the Ys games, I really do, but I can’t deal with the platforming in this particular one. And that’s okay.

I still hope that Ys V and VI will be ported to the Vita. With Ys VIII on the horizon, this would be the perfect time to drum up some hype in the West. Until then, though, I suppose I’ll have to make do with Breath of the Wild and Mass Effect Andromeda. I think I’ll survive.

Gaming Diary: Continuing that Ys Hype Train

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Wooo woooo!

Since I’m not reviewing any games (woohoo!), I planned on starting Breath of the Wild for that guide review after I finished up Ys Chronicles II. I was almost done with that, so I knew it wouldn’t be long. In fact, I finished it Friday night and got pumped to finally try out Breath of the Wild the following day. On Saturday morning, I received a reminder that my Mass Effect Andromeda collector’s edition strategy guide would be here on Tuesday. Yeah…there’s no way I can do both of these. I called Chris for help, and he’s on it for Breath of the Wild. He’s been playing a lot of the game already, so he’s the best man for the job.

Now that I have time to wait for Andromeda, I figured why not start the next Ys game I have in my catalog? I never did finish Ys: Oath in Felghana, which is a remake of the third Ys game. Of course, I’m going to play it on Easy because I don’t have time to challenge myself in games anymore. Also, this game is a bit old, not to mention incredibly punishing. Go on ahead and say current games have made us all sissies and then ask if I care. Because I don’t. That’s the glory of various difficulties! It’s also kind of why I got into strategy guides; I don’t like being punished.

Ys Oath in Felghana

Even on Easy, Oath in Felghana is a bit difficult in that you’re punished if you don’t have the right armor. Usually buying new armor, finding new armor, or tempering the armor makes all the difference in the world, particularly with boss fights. That first boss handed me my ass in two minutes, but then I tempered all of my equipment and she went down in less than two minutes. I had the same results with other bosses. I think I’m about halfway through the game, so I won’t finish it before the Andromeda guide gets here. However, Andromeda guide will get top priority once it shows up. I’m ready to roll a new character in Andromeda and play the way I want to and do all the side quests I want to.

Until then, I’ll remain overly frustrated at the ridiculous platforming in Ys: Oath in Felghana. I have a feeling this was rather simple to do on PC, but the controls are awkward on the Vita/PSP.

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