Strategy Guide Reviews

A Strategy Guide for your Strategy Guides

Gaming Diary: Now I Get the Softcore Porn Comment

By Leave a Comment

Back in February, BioWare GM Aaryn Flynn made a flippant comment about Mass Effect Andromeda being “softcore space porn.” It was in response to people questioning the ESRB rating, which included nudity. It’s not partial nudity, as it has been in the past. Some people took Flynn’s comment as a joke and others quite seriously. Flynn had to backpedal a little bit as a result.

Considering Mass Effect and Dragon Age have always had mature themes, especially when it comes to romances, I expected that perhaps they were pushing the envelope a little further. Instead of silhouettes and assumptions, perhaps see a bit more of the scene unfold. I wish they had pushed that envelope with Garrus, but what’s done is done.

When I reviewed the game, I did not have time to pursue any relationships. My character flirted with everyone possible, just to see how far it could do with casual conversations, but she didn’t complete a single allies/relationships quest. There simply was no time in the window I had. Last night, I completed a romance, and I get the softcore porn comment now. Boy, do I ever.

Jaal Romance

Actually not the romance scene.

It’s not porn, really, but it’s definitely stuff you would see late at night on HBO or Cinemax. I was not expecting that at all. You have no idea how glad I was to be playing alone in my office, with no one watching. My romance was with Jaal, and it did not include seeing his full frontal. You don’t even see Ryder’s full frontal, just lots of boob. But as it continued for far longer than any other BioWare romance scene, my eyes widened with how far it went. I ended up texting a friend about it, and we compared romance stories. He romanced Cora, and he said it was more intense than he expected. I shared about Jaal, we snickered, told obscene jokes, and went on our merry way.

I’m not saying this is bad at all, so put down your torches and pitchforks. I’m mostly saying this as a warning, that maybe don’t play the romance parts with kids in the room. If you have a non-gamer spouse or roommate, you might want to warn them.

I am so unbelievably happy I did not play this scene during Extra Life with Chris and Blake. Chris didn’t even watch me play any part of Dragon Age: Origins until we happened to have a naked scene. Immediately he pounced on it like an older brother, yelling what I was watching, and teasing me to the point I know my whole face turned red. I can’t imagine how he would have reacted watching this Jaal romance.

Gaming Diary: Playing Mass Effect Andromeda My Way

By Leave a Comment

Mass Effect Andromeda

It’s flooring me how much of a different experience I’m having with Mass Effect Andromeda this time around, playing for myself and not on a deadline. For starters, I can REALLY avoid the story as much as possible. When you just focus on roaming all over the new worlds and making them better for all living there, it’s rather enjoyable. Well, it is until you reach a game-breaking bug (happened twice over the weekend) or you see a really awful character animation, but you know that’s a risk as you go in. As you bond with the characters (that’s still 20 hours in, take note) and learn more about the galaxy from side quests, it becomes the open world Mass Effect game you’ve always wanted.

All you have to do is procrastinate on the story missions as much as possible.

In addition, I’m not nearly as frustrated with playing because taking my time to do literally all of the side quests has leveled me up considerably. At 40 hours in, I’m nearly level 50. When I played the game for review, at 40 hours in I just turned 30. It’s amazing (not amazing) how much easier grinding through the story missions, or even any mission, is when you are properly leveled. Since you can’t save your game mid-mission, and the checkpoints are far and few between, I spent most of my review overly frustrated. Like any RPG, if you take the time grind, most of the game will be a cake-walk except on the hardest difficulties. This time around, I’m having far more fun completing the main missions because I’m not dying every three steps.

It’s also nice to be able to take the time to make the planets habitable and create outposts. No time to do that before. For the first time, I really feel like I’m settling the Heleus Cluster and making a real difference for the Nexus and the galaxy.

This makes me even happier to have walked away from games writing. Who knows what other games I might have enjoyed significantly more if I wasn’t pressed to complete them in a matter of days?

The Corner of Randomness: Come on Nintendo

By Leave a Comment

Nintendo is a very strange company. They are notorious for blaming console shortages on manufacturing issues. Sure, when a new console hits the market, I expect supply to be limited. Yet, Sony and Microsoft get stock to meet demand relatively quickly and we soon see their consoles consistently on store shelves. Hell, even the PSVR is now somewhat readily available at stores around me. Yet Nintendo magically can’t produce consoles to meet the demand. BS!

In the last two weeks, we’ve received news that Nintendo was no longer making the NES Classic Edition. You know, because they hate money. Many of us will never get our hands on that fun piece of nostalgia. Well, that is unless we cave to the scalpers and pay their stupidly inflated price for it on eBay. Well, now there is rumor that Big N will be releasing an SNES Mini. It is just rumor at this point.

The SNES is still my favorite console. It got me though some pretty rough times in my life. I’ve spent countless hours with good friends playing various games on that system. I’d be bluffing if I said this rumor didn’t get me excited. However, that excitement is quickly crushed when I remember that Nintendo hates money and will probably only make like five of these systems. Grrr!

Really, come the eff on Nintendo. If this rumor is true, meet the demand for the SNES Mini. Don’t blame low stock on manufacturing issues. Keeping stock low just so you can ride the demand wave is infuriating. The only people who benefit from this crap are the scalpers who ultimately just sell the system for a profit. Yet, you will most likely keep the scalpers in business while the rest of us sit and wonder wtf happened to you.

Nintendo, it might be time to put the sake down and sober up. That is about the only real explanation behind what you’ve been the last few years.

The Corner of Randomness: WTF Nintendo

By Leave a Comment

NES ClassicYesterday, news struck that Nintendo was no longer going to offer the NES Classic Edition for sale. That’s right. One of Nintendo’s cash cows at the moment is obviously making waaaaay too much money, and they just can’t have that. I am both shocked and bummed by this news.

I’m bummed because I really wanted to snag this console, but it’s been consistently sold out. Even when a small stock does arrive at a store here, it is basically sold out within seconds. I know this is nothing more than an emulator. I can easily play the games that come with it via other methods. Yet, I really wanted the NES Classic Edition because of nostalgia. Now, I’ll probably never get my hands on one. Let’s face it, the value on this thing just went through the roof.

I am shocked that Nintendo would do this because of how well the system was doing. No store was capable of keeping these consoles in stock. It’s almost like Nintendo just doesn’t like money. I get that they are wanting to push the Switch, but this news doesn’t stack well with the issues the Switch has. Last weekend I got to play a friend’s Switch and experienced the left Joycon disconnecting. Thankfully, their Switch doesn’t have the warping issue…yet.

I just don’t get why Nintendo felt it was necessary to kill off the NES Classic. With news of the Switch having various issues, this feels a bit like a low blow. So seriously Nintendo, WTF?

The Corner of Randomness: Hello Travel Season

By Leave a Comment

This weekend I travel to Wisconsin to teach a photography class. This is the first step in a long process of hopefully establishing myself as a photography instructor. It’s also a stepping stone in building a new photography group in the Madison, Wisconsin area.

As I prepared my class notes, I was doing the multitasking thing and making a list of items I needed to bring with me. Camera, check. Lenses, check. PS Vita, check. Oh crap, I need to charge the 3DS and get both systems updated. Well, there are a few more tasks added to this ever growing list of things that need doing before I hit the road.

It then hit me that this is pretty much the official start to my travel season. At the end of the month I head to Michigan to meet with some friends for a weekend of board gaming. Some family members in Chicago are asking for senior photos to be done before the end of the month. After that, a few trips to Wisconsin, Michigan, Colorado, Massachusetts, maybe Georgia, Montana, and Arizona. Through all of those countless miles of travelling, my trusty 3DS and PS Vita will be with me. They will be keeping me company on long lonely flights, nights of insomnia, and general down time.

I almost wish I could say I’d have a Nintendo Switch with me, but Zelda can only keep you engaged for so long. I mean, once you get that one hundred percent completion, what else is there to really do? So I’ll stick to my Vita and 3DS, along with their horribly long lists of games I’ve yet to complete.

Well, time to go get these things charging and check to see if they need any sort of updating. Then packing. I swear, I said I would slow down in the nicer months. So much for that. Well, time to go build a business!

Top Posts & Pages