A Strategy Guide for your Strategy Guides
I returned home from my travels to Colorado to find my Arcade Block waiting for me. It almost felt like Christmas! Nothing says welcome home like the Zelda 2 Arcade Block just waiting for me to tear into it. So, let’s do just that. This one promises to be pretty badass…and it didn’t disappoint!
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Terrible on console. Just. Terrible.
I am by no means a member of the PC Master Race, because I love gaming as a whole, but I know that not all PC games can transition to console and vice versa. And when I say vice versa, I mean go from controller to keyboard-and-mouse, because I’m well aware you can you use a controller to get through console games ported to PC. This isn’t the point. What I’m saying is that some genres are meant for a keyboard and mouse. A coworker will argue with me all day that first-person shooters are meant for PC only, but he’s an idiot, so I ignore him. Two genres that I have tried now with a controller that just flat out down work are real-time strategy games (which includes tower defense) and point-and-click adventures.
By nature, point-and-click adventures refer to clicking with a mouse. Of course, the original King’s Quest didn’t use a mouse, but it did use a keyboard for players to tell Sir Graham what he needed to do to solve a certain puzzle. That said, those early games were hard as shit because of how randomized they were, how specific you had to be in how you solved the puzzles, and that awful possibility of reaching a dead end.
Occasionally, games from this genre will attempt a port to console, presumably to sell more copies, bring in a bigger audience, etc. etc. Thus far, any RTS game that I have tried on console has been an abysmal experience, and the only point-and-click games I have enjoyed on console have been the Telltale-style episodic games. I know King’s Quest is available on console, and I think it will work just fine because even the PC game works better with a controller than a keyboard/mouse. My current review for work is one that should have never made the leap to console: The Book of Unwritten Tales 2.
The controls for this game were very much meant with a mouse in mind. They included a couple of functions to make observing items and using items a little easier for a controller, but the game’s character movement with a controller and trying to solve puzzles with this controller makes for a frustrating experience. Only two levels into the game, I reached a puzzle I could not complete because the character physically could not move his ass fast enough. I talked to a friend of mine who reviewed the game on PS4, and she said she couldn’t do that part either; she had to get her husband to help her out. I could get the little bastard into the room he needed to go, but I couldn’t get him to walk the next two feet fast enough before my fire went out and I had to start over.
I remembered that I bought the game earlier in the year when it released on PC because it went on sale, but like most Steam games, it’s sat there and gathered digital dust. I fired it up, played through to this stupid fire puzzle (it’s amazing how much more quickly the game goes when you know the answers to the puzzles), and witnessed how much easier the puzzle was to solve when I only had to double click to get him to leave the room. I didn’t have to wait for him to physically walk, or get the icons to appear when he reached an area; I could just double click on the exit. It was a Christmas miracle.
I understand that Nordic Games was proud of this little point-and-click adventure, and they wanted to push it under as much faces as possible. But not every PC game will port well, such as this genre of gaming. I played Broken Age on my Vita, and that only worked well because of the touch screen. I had already played it on PC, and as such, I can’t imagine going through that with just a controller. The Book of Unwritten Tales 2 probably could have been a decent Vita port thanks to the touchscreen, but it may be too big for the Vita to handle. The PC download size is over 13GB. That might kill my poor memory cards.
So how am I going to review this PS4 copy of the game that recently released? I don’t have a bloody clue. But if this one was on your radar at all, put it in your Steam wishlist and wait for the next big sale. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT attempt this on console.
Personally, I don’t recommend this game at all, but that’s a story for a different day.
My eldest is at that lovely age where he is overly influenced by commercials. He wants everything he sees on TV, or he thinks I need everything he sees on TV. When it comes to video games, he begged for Splatoon nearly every day for two months. Now that he has said game and loves it, he’s on to the next biggest thing, which happens to be Super Mario Maker. The kid really has no idea what this game entails.
I’ve tried to explain to him repeatedly that it’s not a typical Mario game, that it’s about building your own levels and playing levels others have made. It’s more about creating stuff that ridiculously difficult or super silly than playing a traditional Mario game. But he doesn’t care. He sees the commercials, he sees kids talking about how much fun it is to make levels, and he’s all over it.
So I’ve decided to make a deal with him. If he can learn about Mario games and show me that he understands them and what Super Mario Maker is about, I’ll look into getting the game for him. This means he has to play some of the original games. He has no idea what a real platformer is, and it’s about time he learns and he learns the hard way. I showed him where both Super Mario Bros. and Super Mario Bros. 3 are on the Wii U (I bought them at least a year ago), and set him on his way. Within minutes, the complaining was in full force.
This is hard! You have to jump perfectly! Oh my gosh, you die after getting hit just once?
And he wants Super Mario Maker. Silly, silly little boy.
After watching a reshowing of the Nintendo World Championships 2015 on Sunday, where the final stage was Treehouse-created levels for Super Mario Maker, that sealed the deal. He said it looked fun, but it was way too hard for him. So he went back to the last game he asked me for ad infinitum: Mario Kart 8.
Well, that’s fine. But he needs to respect where that game came from as well. I went through the Wii U eShop, found the original Mario Kart from the SNES, and purchased it. He has absolutely loved it. He and the husband were racing against one another last night, and he admitted that he needs to practice this one a lot before he moves onto MK8.
I feel like my work here is done.
Now maybe I should school him in Super Smash Bros. Melee before we consider picking up Super Smash Bros. Wii U…
The Mad Max game has completely shattered all of my expectations. I had fun with my brief romp at E3, but I was still nervous about giving the game my full attention because, well, you know…driving. Was this going to be a Sleeping Dogs situation, or worse, a Saints Row the Third situation where I rage quit because I can’t drive ‘dem hos back to the pimps fast enough?
So far, the answer has been no. It helps to have skills behind the wheel, but it’s only required for optional sidequests. And even then, I’ve had a blast (pun intended) finding ways of overcoming my deficiencies in the driver’s seat. I’ve even had fun practicing my driving through the Wasteland.
As such, Mad Max is my new addiction in gaming, and it’s not only because I’m reviewing it for work. It’s because of work that I’m forcing myself to do story missions when I really don’t want to. Don’t you see all those blips on the map? They’re begging for me to clear them. All that scrap for me to harvest…all of those red territory markers and camps for me to tear down…Max has so much havoc to wreak and stupid deadlines won’t let me blow up everything I want to. I haven’t had an open world game like this capture me since inFamous: Second Son and Dragon Age Inquisition. Skyrim tried to capture my attention like this, and I don’t know why it failed to do so, but it did. Shadow of Mordor also nearly scratched that itch as well, and while it’s a great game, I didn’t have as much fun in it as I am in Mad Max.
And that’s what it comes down to in the end, even though Mad Max barely has a story holding it together. I guess I’m okay with that, because the story is essentially about surviving in this Wasteland, and if that means using Max’s badass abilities to take down the warlord’s hold across the land, then the crazy mofos are going down. It doesn’t matter how sloppily I do it; they’re all dying horrific deaths one by one.
Have I mentioned how fun this game is? Because it is. If I didn’t have adult responsibilities, that’s what I would be doing all the time–Mad Maxing it up. And I’d be doing it with a massive mug of ice water nearby. This game makes me so thirsty!
It’s time to tear into another box of Marvel Collector Corps goodies. What I had assumed was going to be a Fantastic Four themed box actually turned out to be Secret Wars. Get ready for some fun stuff, because the shirt ended up being totally kick-ass! Damn has it been a great month for getting boxes of awesomeness in the mail! Did I mention that Funko is now doing a Star Wars box subscription?